Holy Hamstrings!

Happy St. Wufniks day,

Thanks to those who have already submitted to Issue #3.
Congratumalations!
You are champions and really rather marvelous the lot of you.
Of course, there is still plenty of time to send us bits, but it’s never too early

As a morbid incentive, we have posted five 100-word obituaries of misrepresented heroes from throughout history.
Would you Adam and Steve it? There is one each for the letters A, B, C, D and then E, in that order!
Look at that!

Ah!

OK,
Keep submitting,
All the best and all the rest,
As per always,

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3 thoughts on “Holy Hamstrings!

  1. hi guys
    i wrote a poem
    there isn’t enough poetry on the website
    so i am putting a poem here
    this one
    which i wrote

    it is entitled ‘pomegranate’

    Pomegranate

    “I‘m fucking you” I said
    whilst fucking you.

    “Another line, shall we?”
    you asked me coyly
    and in that moment
    i realised something to myself.
    what i realized was that it was
    as if you were an actual bird
    and I was a terrifying bird-smashing animal
    like a bear or something
    that could smash you without a moments thought.
    the sunlight through the skylight
    lit our faces up like lanterns
    or car headlights
    on the roadkill carcasses of smashed birds
    the same bird I was describing before.
    “I no longer do cocaine.
    I assume you were referring to cocaine just now,”
    I said, with my eyes watering like watering cans.

    I trusted you.
    God.
    I trusted you all the way to the bank.

    “am I going bald, do you think?”
    I stared into the mirror
    touching the roots of my hair
    like a small girl touches the grass stems
    of her hula skirt;
    my touch delicate like china
    or the mossy bouquet of a fine wine.
    there were a million of me
    stretching into infinity somehow
    since there was also a mirror behind me —
    a mirror facing the mirror i was looking in —
    and the mirrors were reflecting
    each other’s reflections
    so it was kind of like a tunnel
    though slightly curved
    because of a crooked nail
    in one of their backs.

    there’s no mercy in this world…
    only death
    a baby weeps
    only death

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