Snehal?

Snehal Vadher: The Wufniks Interview

1. Who is Snehal Vadher?

A student, trying to write fiction and poetry. He currently lives in London, but most of the time cannot be said to be present there.

2. Where is Snehal Vadher?

An issue raised in the above question, which must remain unresolved.

3. What is Snehal Vadher?

Usually just a t-shirt

4. Why is Snehal Vadher?

Snehal Vadher is not, because in Russian, his first name can be variously “Snehala,” “Snehalu,” “Snehale,” and so forth, which is really a joke.

5. If you could have the naturally occurring defense mechanisms of any creature in the world, what would it be?

the Octopus

6. Please name (in the thousands preferably) how many fans you have accrued since first appearing in the critically acclaimed magazine ‘Wufniks’

Exactly 3

7. What character from classical literature would make the best President of the United States of America?

The one who stole the Queen’s tarts.

8. Please use this space for the first 3 sentences of your Booker Prize acceptance speech.

I am greatly indebted for the committee of bearded men and women who have deemed me worthy of this prize. Alas, I shall accept it. I intend to donate half of the money towards the construction of a city for people measuring 5′2″.

9. Use this space for the first 3 sentences of a Robot’s Booker Prize acceptance speech.

I would like to thank the judges for giving me this prize. I would also like to thank my parents, who have been really supportive throughout my writing career and have put up spiders, tortoises, lesbians, murderers, and inept batsmen which sprang from my head and populated my room and their nightmares. The entire prize money will go to Oxfam North-African Draught Aid and People for Ethical Treatment Against Unleased Pets.

10. Snehal Vadher, this is a transatlantic interview. What are your thoughts on the Atlantic Ocean?

It is a space over which language has built many subtly shifting bridges as compared to those traceable routes on which perhaps were brought chocolate and coffee to the rest of the world.

11. Snehal Vadher, what is your catch phrase?

“Un, dos, tres, cuatro;” and I’m out of bed.

12. Snehal Vadher, do you have any more words for your adoring public?

Perhaps after they manage to get through this.

Snehal Vadher is a staunch supporter of wufniks. He is a living, breathing, talking, eating, snoring, birthday present to us all. You can find his latest story here.

Happy Birthday,

Out Like a Lamb?

I think I speak for all of us when I say that March can get lost. Take a hike March! See you next year. March on March!

Now that March is out of the way it’s time to think of spring-like activities- April showers and Mayflowers filled with pilgrims and such. It’s time to think of fuzzy yellow chicks and colourful eggs bursting with chocolate yolky albumen.

Think of Wufniks as a golden daffodil trying to break through the soil hardened by winter’s icy embrace. We are pushing through with all our might but we also need some help from all you helpful readers out there. If you or someone you care about (spouse, life partner, trusted dental professional) thinks wufniks is an OK guy then please tell us so in the form of an electronic mail or ‘e-mail’ saying so. We are are hoping that our little daffodil of a magazine will soon turn into a giant redwood of literature- or at least a nice magazine that gets funding from the government. If you have any things to say, please pass them on to us at wufniksmagazine@gmail.com and we will make a collage of them to give to the Queen as we beg for shillings.

By the way, what countries are you people in? We like to think that Wufniks spans all countries and cultures. Hey people out there, tell your friends in other countries that we exist. Let’s hold hands across the equator at noon!

As thanks for your cooperation, please accept this picture of a panda receiving his birthday cake while in a tree.

Speaking of birthdays- I wonder when Wufniks’ birthday is? I have no idea.

This is a short posting today. Please send us emails if you feel that we are doing a good job. Continue to tell your friends about us and if you write stories then send us stories. We will turn them into F-18 fighter jets of passionate prose.

In my magic mirror I can see you mudluscious and I see wigleaf too. I see It’s True magazine too! Have you seen It’s True magazine? Their deadline is April 20th. Send them submissions on absolutely anything you can think of. In my magic mirror I can also see J.A Tayler and E.E Cummings.

Thank you initials. Thank you American poetry. Thank you Peter Crouch.

twittering towards ecstasy,

In Like a Lion?

Happy March to all of you newly hatched, fuzzy yellow chicks. March may come in like a lion and leave like a lamb but the in between is pure unicorn, or possibly kangaroo. Let’s take a look at these new creations all around us shall we?

Today is the first day of the official existence of Bewilderbliss, a new magazine published in Manchester. They aim to showcase new and amazing talent from Manchester and beyond the moon. Please check them out, support the artists, send them stories, smile at their words as they fly through the air. We here at wufniks are proud of Bewilderbliss and wish them more success than they can carry.

Next up, Crispin Best- Wufniks’ blistering comet of power and literature, has teamed up with the greatest names (literally) in fiction today, Socrates Adams-Florou and Spiros Adams-Florou to bring you MEN, a book for men (and womens) everywhere. The Florou brothers provided the wonderful pictures and Mr. Best provided the syntax. If you pre-order, order, read, or purchase just one chapbook this month or in your entire lifetime, I suggest it be MEN.

Next and not fourth, is The Other Room, they deal with experimental poetry. Are you a fan? Are you a doer of those types of poems? If you are a doer or a liker then check out our friends in the other room.

Last and almost last are Andrew Borgstrom and David Hartley. They are physically incapable of not writing stories. Check out their ‘blogs’. Andrew is a friend of the family and we have a secret crush on David and the things he does. Well done boys.

My head is spinning from all these creative koalas out there in the fiction outback. Let’s all watch the flowers bloom as we catch our breath. Let’s fill our suitcases with newspaper. Let’s look into our magic mirror and who do we see?

We see Andrew, and David, and Willow, and Crispin and Socrates and Spiros too. And of course we see you!

hippopotamus,

Truth or Dare?

The truth is a powerful thing.

The truth shall set you free.

Here, in order (in order of preference), are the seven truest things ever said about Wufniks:

1. Wufniks was born in a bar called KroBar in Manchester but the editors will tell you that it was a place called Hardy’s because Hardy’s was nicer and there is a giant poem written on the outside facade.

2. Wufniks is printed on 100% non-recycled paper.

3. Is the number of founders of the magazine. They added Ringo Starr a few months later.

4. There is a fourth issue of Wufniks and it is currently hiding under the bed.

5. If you say ‘Wufniks’ five times while looking in the mirror and then turn around, you will see Kurt Vonnegut Jr. and he will hand you a cookie.

6. No member of the Wufniks team has ever used the word ‘hiatus’.

7.  Wufniks’ favourite continent is Central America.

Ahh, that felt good to get off our chests. Now down to business.

Do you know Chris Killen?

He has published a novel called The Bird Room. Go check it out on Amazon. It is one of the prettiest covers  I have seen in a long while. Chris is a kind man and a friend to the world. Go get that world Chris and congrats on the novel!

Wufniks is like a child with a remote controlled helicopter that shoots milkshakes. We have more friends than we know what to do with and of course you can come over to watch the helicopter but of course you can NOT play with it because if you break it our dad will kill us. Something that our friends do quite often is send us stories. We love stories, don’t you? Andrew Borgstrom, Samuel Zane Farrell, and Raoul Colvile have sent us some great and short and great things for us and you to read. We have put them in a section of the house that used to be covered by painting tarps but now it is where the friends of the family go.

Thank you friends of the family.

Thank you gravity.

Thank you John Mayer.

tuna fish sandwich,

Launch! Party!

Heavens to Betsy!

On 16th April, 2008, Wufniks will be having a launch party.
You are invited.
You should come.
Seriously.
It will be nice.

It will be held in upstairs at Revolution on Oxford Rd, Manchester.
For those who don’t know: an internet map.

We’ll have more details in the coming weeks but so far we know that:

- We’re hoping to have some actual multi-dimensional people reading their work for your very delectations.
- Issue #1 & brand spanking new Issue #2 will both be available to purchase and thenceforth be read or given as a thoughtful gift or used to fan one’s self/next-of-kin/chilly enemies.
- There will be some exciting announcements made concerning the distant spectre that is Issue #4!

Anyway.
Tip-Ex out everything that you had in your diary for that day and come and say hello and let us love you and pat you on the back.

Further, further bribery:
Remember Stanley? Have more Stanley!

And even some Kurt.

Keep sending us things for Issue #3.

Don’t be squareniks,

Issue #1 = Freshly Baked Bread

OH!
Holy Mackerels!
Did you know that Issue #1 has just come back from the printers?
It’s true!
Fresh and warm it is indeed.
So, get in touch with us if you’re interested in getting your hot paws on a copy.

Keep your eyes to this site to find out about the upcoming release party as well.

Issue #2 is hot on the tail of its predecessor and should be out later this month in physical form as well.
It’s brewing in its juices as we type.
Wufniks keeps you in the know.

Oh, Garfield Minus Garfield !!

Oh, Lemon Gas !!

Okay Dokay,

Issue #3 Writer’s Challenge

Again again. It’s us.
Bingo.

The submissions for issue #2 are here with us.
They are safely bubbling in a saucepan.
We thank with both hands all of everyone who sent us words.
You are the peoples, you peoples.

SO!
News!

Issue #3’s writing challenge has been provided by Irvine Welsh.
Irvine Welsh? Irvine Welsh!

Read the challenge here!

As per always you can submit or contact us here: wufniksmagazine@gmail.com

Further detailings of issue #3 submissions will be up in a short while.

Did you ever wonder what Dr. Claw looked like? *Spoilers!*

Love etc,

Officially Google’s #1 ‘Wufniks Magazine’ search result!

Hi.
Hello.

Stop shivering! There’s no need to be so anxious. There are still plenty of minutes and hours during which you can submit stories, baloney, palaver and poppycock to be published in Issue #1, which will be hitting all sorts of newsstands in early 2008.

You see, some people used their imagination to think that this is a simple e-journal. Ah! No mere weblog us! No. Wufniks will also be as physical as your very hands. You will be absolutely able to hold it in those selfsame hands. Take it on the bus to make fellow, travel-sick passengers envious of your fine taste! Roll it up and carry it in a backpocket with pride and a smile! Grimace and swat things that are annoying you from about your head (though please gently)!

To reward you for stopping by, we have posted a short profile of the contemporary academical innovator, and great hero of Wufniks, Geoffrey Rushforth.
Read it here!

Send any questions, and keep submitting, to: wufniksmagazine@gmail.com

Merry Wufniks one and all,
brgds,

One Earth Month to go…

Yes.

There are a mere 30 days until the deadline for submissions for Issue #1.

A hearty thanks to all those who have thus far shown an interest. As a reward for your curiosity, we have posted an interview (Wufniks’s first) with renowned folklorist, Rufus Wilbraham.
Read it here

The moon gets a lot done in a month. So can you. Keep the submissions coming in.

All the best and all the rest,

Issue #1 Submissions

Now.
This is it. This is the first call for submissions for Wufniks. Issue #1 is just around the corner and we’re looking for a variety of things, as long as they fit into one of these three categories:

1) Short stories. Up to 2,500 words. About anything. These can be your new babies or best old dusty .doc files. All that matters to us is you want other people to read them.

2) Writer’s challenge. Each issue will feature a challenge set by a published author we like. They’ll provide a set of rules for a story (for example: setting, point-of-view, subject matter). Booker-shortlisted novelist M.J.Hyland has been kind enough to set this issue’s challenge.

These stories should be:

• about hypochondria
• written in the first-person
• maximum 1,000 words

Read the full challenge here!

3) Miscellany. By this we mean: frivolous snippets, humorous self-indulgent wiffleballs, contrivances, lists, phone numbers, menu items, instructions ripped from the backs of condom packets, photographs of dead relatives with mustaches drawn on, complaints or verbal attacks on our persons, and other nonsense of all varieties.

You could send us a review of a book that doesn’t exist, or a list of sounds that make you think of smells, or a six-word story. Those or none of those.

email submissions to: wufniksmagazine@gmail.com
deadline: 31st December 2007

We can’t pay you. We’re sorry. We can barely clothe ourselves.

We’re looking forward to reading your submissions,
Hopefully you’ll have fun writing them.

Good Wufniks,

From,